“The Meaning”

This blog is fifth in a five-part series titled “The Dream”, a write-up I did of a very vivid dream I had. Even though it wasn't specifically about the Disease, the dream’s subject—feeling  different, inhuman—is something all those of us who suffer from addiction can relate to.

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When I woke up, I had music in my mind--the theme from a movie a friend of mine and I had gone to see the night before. I don’t know how much of the dream was influenced by that movie, or the microwaved dinner I’d had afterwards, but it was powerful, and I still feel the emotion of being there in that dream-space, where everything seems so real.

These people were my kin; I belonged to them, with them. They were the broken part of myself, the part that feels inhuman, that something went wrong when my soul was placed into this earthly body and sent to walk this reality. They were my fears about never being accepted, or able to find love, or that the love I find won’t be interested in me.

I read once in a book that all the world around us, all of reality, is merely a dream. All the images we see, all the sensations we experience, are all an illusion. But the feelings we have from experiencing it and the beauty we see, those things are not imaginary. The image is a dream, but the beauty is real.