There’s an old saying about how all that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing. I like this idea a lot. It really highlights the need for being active, for taking action. If you aren’t doing something to stand up against what’s wrong, you’re giving your silent approval to what’s happening.
When I took my college classes on diversity, we discussed the same idea. We talked about racism, sexism, and all the other ‘isms’, as systems of oppression. These systems exist and are inherent to the way things are, and will persist until changed for no other reason than because they are the status quo. Therefore, if you aren’t actively working to fight against these systems, then you’re accepting them and—again, through your inaction—making a tacit admission that they are okay.
This way of thinking applies to Recovery, too. Those of us who’ve been in this for more than a few one-days-at-a-time know that we don’t get to stagnate. We don’t get to just tread water. If we aren’t moving forward, we’re moving backwards. That’s just how it is for folks like us. If we aren’t actively fighting, taking action to keep the Disease at bay, then we’re letting the Disease win. It never quits. It’s always there, waiting for us to get lazy, for us to let our guard down, and to drag us back to the hell we’ve worked so hard to escape.
A big part of the third step is recognizing the enormity of what we do in it—and it’s not so much what we decide to do, but the simple fact that we made a decision at all! Sure, it’s huge that we make a decision to turn over our will and our lives, but just as important is the fact that we made a decision in the first place. We begin our transformation from people of inaction into people of action. We begin to become people who are actively in charge of the direction of our lives, instead of just following the path of least resistance and avoidance.
As time has passed for me in my Recovery, I have begun to see being active or being passive, making decisions or not, differently. I’ve become more conscious of how not making a decision is in itself a decision. If I put off making a decision, then I am passively deciding to continue accepting things as they are.
One example of this from my own life is my current job situation. I think a lot of aspects of my work environment are unacceptable. So, I’m applying for other jobs and going out on interviews. If I wasn’t doing these things, or taking some other form of action, then all I’d be doing is complaining. And no matter how loud I might complain, my actions would still show that the situation is, in reality, acceptable to me.
Another example (which, admittedly, is a bit harsh) is someone who’s in an abusive relationship but has not yet made the decision to leave. Until they make that decision, they are—by default—deciding to stay. And by the way, I don’t mean to ignore the enormity of life-changing decisions. I know how tough big decisions are. All I’m saying is that not making a decision to change can, in effect, be the same thing as making a decision to not change.
One example of this from my own life is my current job situation. I think a lot of aspects of my work environment are unacceptable. So, I’m applying for other jobs and going out on interviews. If I wasn’t doing these things, or taking some other form of action, then all I’d be doing is complaining. And no matter how loud I might complain, my actions would still show that the situation is, in reality, acceptable to me.
Another example (which, admittedly, is a bit harsh) is someone who’s in an abusive relationship but has not yet made the decision to leave. Until they make that decision, they are—by default—deciding to stay. And by the way, I don’t mean to ignore the enormity of life-changing decisions. I know how tough big decisions are. All I’m saying is that not making a decision to change can, in effect, be the same thing as making a decision to not change.
When it comes to fighting evil, fighting racism and sexism (and all the other ‘isms’ of injustice), it’s really easy to feel that the fight is futile. And maybe it is. Maybe the quest to change these things is an impossible one, a task that will never be completed. But if I don’t at least try, if I don’t work to try to change things, then I’m saying I’m okay with things being the way they are. I’m not.
The same is true for me in my Recovery. If I stop the work of Recovery, if I cease that daily maintenance of my spiritual condition, then I am saying that it’s okay to move backwards and to go back towards being the old me I used to be. It isn’t.
Recovery is a daily decision. Every day, I get to decide whether I’m going to move forward or backward. If I don’t choose to move forward, then by default I will end up choosing to move backwards. And that is not acceptable to me. So I keep choosing to move forward—one day at a time.
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