"A Simple Prayer"

The NA 'Just For Today' was about Step Eleven today and it's got me thinking. I'd always looked at this way of praying as something of an advanced prayer; it hadn't occured to me that it might be a beginning one. It is a simple prayer, for sure. Two parts. The first, seeking guidance, asking for direction. The second, asking for the strength to follow that guidance. It's very powerful stuff, and a prayer of faith. Implied in it is the idea that we are going to let our higher power direct us in our lives. The Christian tradition has a variant of this prayer, too: make me a vessel for your will.

I think the reason I'd always considered this more of an advanced way of praying is because of the tendency so many of us have for praying for what we want. To set that aside, to let go of our own desires and instead dedicate ourselves to the will of our higher power, that takes a lot of faith. But, then again, that's where the second part kicks in--not only do I ask for what God wants for me, but the power to do it, too.

I do receive insights when I pray and meditate. It's not like a bolt of lightening, more a gentle urging. But even more than that, I find that when I am diligent with my prayer practice, when I do it regularly, the rest of life goes smoother. I feel calmer, I deal with life better. There's a peace, a knowledge that I can do my best and God will take care of the rest.

So many people come into the program with little or no faith in something greater than themselves. Some (like myself) come in with a belief, but haven't yet learned how to rely on that power to guide us in our lives. It takes time and practice, like anything else. It takes learning to let go.

Letting go is a release, but it can also be downright scary. We don't know what will happen. We don't know what life will confront us with, what we'll have to contend with. Letting go is making a conscious choice to face the unknown, and that can be scary as hell. As sick and twisted as our patterns in life might be, they are still familiar to us, and that familiarity has a certain comfort to it. Any change, big or small, can be difficult because we're dealing with something new. We're pushing our limits, stretching out of our comfort zones.

This simple prayer can be the most uncomfortable one of all. For me, it's a lot like saying, "okay, God, it's all up to you. Just show me where to go, what to do, and give me the strength to do it." It doesn't matter the exact way we pray, so long as the intention is there. So long as we maintain a mindset of 'your will, not mine', we're on the path.