"What's A Drug?"

"Alcohol is a drug. Period." Those of us who have been to an NA meeting have heard these words, and they are profound. Personally, I think there should be a little, "so is marijuana!" tacked on afterwards, but that's my own issue. Some people feel very strongly that Nicotine should be on that list as well. There's even people who cut caffeine out, too.

I had a sponsee once who was on a harm-reduction program. He was taking methadone under a doctor's care as he dealt with his addiction to oxycontin. Many addicts have been faced with recovery from surgery where their doctor has written them a prescription for Vicodin, or some other narcotic. Doctors write prescriptions for marijuana use, too, for pain management. Cocaine was once used in medical practice. So was heroin. A study came out recently suggesting the use of psychedelics like LSD and mushrooms for medical uses. There are a number of faiths and religions that use mild-psychotropic substances as an integral part of their ceremonies.

So what in the name of God is an addict to do???

There are some easy answers. If it gets you high, then it's a no-fly. For an addict or alcoholic in Recovery, any mind- or mood-altering substance is something to stay away from. Many of us go to great lengths to establish an understanding with doctors about our need to remain sober. It's not about protecting our sobriety date; that's only the most superficial of reasons. At a deeper level, what it's really about is the kind of people we become when we use. When we fix, our addict selves are in control. The worst of us comes out, runs our lives into the ground, and causes all kinds of chaos, destruction, and harm to those around us.

There is an ongoing debate in 12-step rooms about what is acceptable in terms of psychiatric medication, too. Many of my brothers and sisters in the program suffer from severe mental disorders. They need mood-stabilizing drugs, anti-anxiety medication, and antidepressants in order to function on a daily basis. Without these medicines, they would be a danger to themselves and others. There are those who take a truly hard-line approach to this and insist that even psych meds are a no-go if you want to truly live the clean and sober lifestyle. I tend to err on the side of compassion. My personal story has a mood disorder misdiagnosis in it. I have found success in life and in the program without taking psych meds, but not everyone is like me. And, as always, the spiritual way of life teaches that it's not my place to judge.

I've had a number of conversations with many different people--my sponsor, sponsees, other friends in the program--about just what exactly it means to be sober. Is it okay for a marijuana addict to drink a glass of wine with dinner and yet still claim time as sober? What of an alcoholic who smokes pot on the weekend? What about a recovering heroin addict who drinks and claims they're clean now because they no longer do 'the hard stuff'? There is a parallel in the AA Big Book for that last one. It talks about just drinking beer instead of hard alcohol. The verdict? Still an alcoholic, even if all you drink is beer. Some people see pot as a lesser evil than nicotine and feel that cigarettes are bad but the occasional joint is okay.

The line I hold with my sponsees is this: psych meds are okay; pot and alcohol aren't; have your doctor prescribe you pain meds that aren't habit-forming. Cigarettes and caffeine are not mind-altering so they don't count. If you're getting loaded on something, put it down. I don't ever make anyone reset their date, though. That's a personal decision left up to each individual. It's up to each of us how honestly we work our own program. Most important of all, though, is to recognize in yourself what you're doing with substances. Are you fixing? That's the question. Any time we fix, we're indulging our addict side and turning away from the spiritual path.

I'm sorely tempted to write that how everyone works the program is up to them, but that's not rigorously honest. The truth of how I feel about what is and isn't acceptable use is what I've written above. People who attend my Marijuana Anonymous meetings and claim time even though they still drink piss me off. To me, it's no different than still using coke or shooting heroin. But I don't get to make that choice for them; I get to let go of it and remember it's not up to me, that they get to decide for themselves. God knows I've had people get in my face for my cigarettes and tell me I'm not sober because I smoke. So I don't do that. I don't get in others' faces and tell them how to live their lives or work their program. The spiritual path is about learning to be less judgmental, not more.

And I find it helpful, too, to look at the programs of others who have gone before me, who have had the most success in the program and are the most spiritual. They don't drink. They don't use marijuana. They don't take Vicodin. This is how I work my program. How you work yours is up to you.