“Step Twelve: Service”

(This blog is twelfth in a multi-part series, “Thoughts On The Steps”. This series is not a guide on how to work steps; steps can only be worked under the guidance of a sponsor. The twelve-step program is a spiritual program; it teaches us how to live a spiritual life. Working each of the steps gives us the chance to practice a spiritual principle. Whatever your particular fellowship, the Steps are the same, as are the spiritual principles behind them. These are my thoughts on the steps and on those principles.)

Step Twelve: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message […] and practice these principles in all our affairs.

Depending on what fellowship you’re working the steps in, this final step will read a little different. Those in AA carry the message ‘to alcoholics’. In NA, it’s carrying the message ‘to addicts’. My home group of MA says ‘to marijuana addicts’. Al-Anon simply says ‘to others’. These and other versions are all variations on the same theme: we carry the message. What is the message? It’s that the program of 12-step Recovery works.

Those who are thorough in working the program, who do the hard work asked in each of the steps, have a spiritual awakening. We wake up to the idea that we are all connected, that how we conduct ourselves affects the lives of others. We can have a positive influence on them, or we can have a negative influence. We can’t control others, but we can control ourselves. We can choose to act in our own self-interest, or we can choose to do what we can to help others who are suffering.

Being of Service is an important part of the program, and there are many ways to do that. Just showing up to a meeting is a way to be of Service. Making coffee, providing refreshments, are others. We can take positions of greater responsibility as trusted servants--as meeting secretaries, treasurers, and literature persons. We can get involved in area service, helping to make sure the meetings stay healthy and continue on so that others who need help will have a place to go.

Probably the biggest way to be of Service, and one that I personally feel doesn’t get enough stress or attention, is sponsorship. Some would even argue that the real point of the twelfth step is sponsorship. One of the best ways I have found to help my recovery is by helping others through sponsorship. It’s a powerful thing to watch other guys gradually awaken to the spiritual way of life, to see them become clear-eyed and open-minded. And it helps me to stay clean and sober.

‘Practicing these principles in all our affairs’ is not just idle talk, either. The spiritual principles we have learned through working each of the twelve steps are not to exist in isolation. They don’t just apply to our addiction. They are meant to be used in every aspect of our daily lives. That’s what real Recovery is--it’s not just the cessation of use. It’s not just that we no longer drink or get loaded. It’s that we truly become changed people. We act differently. We treat ourselves differently, we treat others differently.

There’s no need to preach to others who still suffer. It’s not our place to take someone else’s inventory, tell them they’re an addict or an alcoholic. It’s not our place to tell the newcomer what they should do. If we tell others what to do or attempt to force them to work the program or the steps, then we’re trying to control them. That’s the exact opposite of what the program teaches us--to let go.

Instead, we talk about ourselves, our experience, how working the program has changed our lives. We suggest that people get a sponsor and work the steps because each of us has to make that choice inside ourselves to do so. We have to find the willingness within to work the program. If it’s forced on us, then we aren’t responsible for our Recovery. And in order for Recovery to work, to truly change someone’s life, they need to make the decision for themselves to work the program.

The twelve steps of Recovery give us a way of living that works. It’s about thinking of ourselves less, not thinking less of ourselves. On the contrary, many of us find an amazingly powerful sense of self-esteem through the practicing of these principles. It’s not up to us to tell others how to live their lives, but it is up to us to reach out and grab the hand of those asking for help. As it says on the walls in so many of the rooms, “I am responsible.”

By an interesting coincidence, this happens to be blog #200 of 'Thoughts On The Disease'. I write it because working the program of Recovery has changed my life and it's my responsibility to carry that message to others. In this modern age, anyone in the world who wants to know about Recovery can search the internet and maybe find their way here. When they do, my hope is that they will read my words and that it will be helpful to them. It's just another way I have to carry the message and be of Service.

Thanks for reading.