"Smelling Roses"

I'm gonna go ahead and put the point up front this time: it's nice to be able to take joy in life, even if it's for just little things. In fact, I'm pretty sure that some of the great spiritual beings have said that it's the little things that matter the most.

The big statistics test is Tuesday. I studied for a few hours today, will do so again tomorrow, and am having a study session with another student in the class on Monday. It's much more productive for me to spread it out like that instead of just cramming the night before. Plus, it leaves me the time to continue living my life. I had time today to go for my walk/run, get groceries, clean up around the apartment some, and even spend some time on the phone with a friend who needed a little help.

Damn it feels good to still be going strong on the exercise. I share about it at my homegroup last night, how I'm working on bulding up, trying to run more and more, but building up slowly so that I don't injure myself (again). I mentioned how I was the kid in school who was always picked last for the team--even after all the girls. The weight still isn't dropping nearly as fast as I'd like, but I'm okay with that. For now, it feels good to just stick with the exercise. I can feel the effects when I'm out there running, the satisfaction of adding more distance a little at a time. I see it in the mirror when I'm working with the weights. Exercise isn't about how much you can do in one go, it's about being consistent, continuing to do it for a long span of time. Following through, that's what feels the best.

Settling in this evening, I decided to go browse the used movies at a local store here in town that re-sells. I like supporting them; I'd much rather do that than give my money to the big chain stores just for the privilege of buying something new. I go to this local place, sell them my used movies, and get store credit to buy other ones.  Lately, I've been picking up seasons of South Park.

While I was there tonight, I saw a collection of Star Trek shows. I can't remember if I've ever outed myself in these pages as a Star Trek fan or not. I may have mentioned it once or twice. Anyway, I am, and a huge one at that. This collection I found had about a dozen episodes from all the different series and it was at a good price. I picked it up and another season of South Park and--with my store credit--got out of there for about what I would have paid to buy just one new movie. Good deal.

Watching an episode of ST:Next Generation, I found myself smiling, realizing how much I enjoyed the show. It's probably been at least ten years since I've seen it. ST:Deep Space Nine is the show I have all the episodes of, but in high school I would record the late-night repeats of Next Gen and watch it when I got home from school every day. So I know all those episodes. Still, it's been so long since I've seen them... I was smiling because they're just darn good stories. And the acting in this one particular show was great. Star Trek, well, it's not for everyone. But if you like it, then when it's a good one you REALLY like it.

There was a time when I couldn't just lay on the couch and enjoy my quiet time. But nowadays... I'm responsible. I tended to the things I needed to do today; I made the time to take care of myself; I spent some time helping others. And wouldn't you know it, at the end of the day I feel great just being here in my apartment with my itty bitty kitty asleep on the back of the couch and an old show playing on the tv. I'm filled with gratitude, so much so that I just had to write about it.

This Recovery thing is some pretty amazing shit. It's turned this helpless, miserable, lazy, coward and drug addict into a responsible, happy human being.