"Winding Down"

I'm on break from classes, sitting in the shade next to a waterfountain/sculpture here on campus. Students of all races chatter around me. A group of four is at a table, grimacing about whatever subject they're supposed to be working on, wishing they could just enjoy the beautiful day. A pair of girls eat a snack of a lunch and gossip about boys. A spikey-haired older woman is across the way, hunched over on her cellphone in a vain attempt at privacy. The sky above is clear blue without a wisp of white cloud.

I attended my last Statistics class of the semester this morning. Immediately afterward, I took my last Social Psychology test. When I turned it in, I made a point of letting the professor know how much I enjoyed the course and asked him if he'd be willing to write me a letter of recommendation when I apply for transfer to a four-year school this fall. He said he'd be glad to. In about an hour, I will sit on the Ageism panel for my Issues Of Diverse Populations class. I've got my notecards all ready and am actually glad to have this topic; it isn't nearly as controversial as some of the others have been.

After I'm done today, I'll hit the ground of finals week with both feet running. I don't have a final exam for Social Psych. I have class for Diverse Populations, but it will be a massive review for the actual final exam which is taken online, so I'll go to that Thursday, then take the test right when I get home. My Statistics final is the monster: cumulative, all the material we've had all semester will be on the exam. There will be some multiple choice answers, some fill-in-the-blank, and a bunch of manual calculations. It is a math class, after all. But that final isn't until next Tuesday, and I've got all weekend to study up for it. Plus, I'd have to basically bomb it to end up with less than a 'C' in the class, so I'm not feeling nearly as much pressure as I otherwise might.

I'm also not nearly as stresed out as I thought I was going to be. Part of that is having done well in my classes over the whole semester so far, part of it has been good planning for this last week. And part of it has been luck of the draw with the way the professors have structured the end of their classes. I'll be glad for the summer break. In the fall, I'll be taking the last couple of classes I need for the 2-year degree. Then, it's (hopefully) a transfer over to Sacramento State to finish the 4-year Psychology degree. My long-term plan is proceeding apace.

Since I knew I needed the break from school, I chose not to take classes this summer. It would be great to find some work, and I'll do my part towards that end. In the meantime, I've got music projects to work on, and of course there's still my Recovery. I'm definitely feeling a winding down of sorts from school, and that's a good feeling. With a good break over the summer, I'll be recharged and ready to tackle the next step this fall.

Suddenly, I'm thinking about feeling good and remembering the adjustment to being okay with feeling good. It still shows up from time to time, but for the most part, these days I can just accept the good feeling and enjoy it.

The feeling good isn't a coincidence, and it's not just the joy of being sober or the relief at the end of classes. Yesterday, I had a great workout. I did a 'burnout' day where I just pushed all of my muscles as far as they could go and it felt great to do so. The day before, I stepped up the distance that I run as part of my walking/running exercise.

The literature talks about the Disease as being a disease of the mind, body, and spirit. To truly recover, we need to treat all three, and I have definitely been doing that. It's no suprise that I'm feeling good; I'm being good to me.