"Work And Willingness"

Ugh. See, this is why it's so important to enjoy the good feelings while they're there--because this too shall pass. My allergies are really driving me crazy today. I know that's all it is, but it feels almost like a nasty cold. I hate being sick. Well, the good times pass, the bad times pass, and life keeps going on and on.

I've assigned myself the task today of getting caught up on my journal entries for my Issues of Diverse Populations class. After coffee. Yesterday, my folks took me out to dinner as a 'thank you' for helping them out. School came up and I mentioned that I'm doing well, but that it's because I'm doing the work. Last night, my friend that I took to the meeting and I had a similar conversation. Her son is in school and doing well, too. We talked about dedication, having the drive to do the work.

The speaker at the meeting last night was really good. It was a woman with ten years and you could just tell, listening to her talk, that she had really good Recovery. She was a bit of a book thumper, but the passages she brought up were important ones, like how no one who lives the program relapses. It got me thinking about how relapse isn't a part of my story and how I don't say much about that because I don't want other people to get the idea that I think I'm better than they are--I don't; it's just a part of my story, of what is.

For a topic, the speaker asked for people to talk about spiritual principles, and that was a great topic. The program is a spiritual one, after all, and it's living by the spiritual principles we learn in the program that allows us to Recover. I didn't get called on, but if I had, I would have talked about Willingness. If there is a reason why I haven't relapsed, my best guess is that I'm lucky enough to have been blessed with a lot of Willingness. I've been willing to keep going to meetings, willing to get a sponsor and work steps, willing to take service commitments, and willing to sponsor others. I've been willing to work the program of Recovery.

But willingness isn't the 'gift that keeps on giving' either. Doing the work isn't easy. It's simple, but it isn't easy. The reason I'm doing well in school is because I'm willing to do the work; the same is true for my Recovery. I have to keep on being willing. I try to call my sponsor regardless of how my life is going. I still take myself to meetings even when I don't feel like going. I pick up the phone when my sponsees or other people in the program call needing help; I'm there for others because they've been there for me.

A lot of people refer to the 12-step program as a new way of life. It is, most definitely. I tend to think of it more as a way of living. To me, thinking of it as a way of life would mean that all I do is the program. Thinking of it as a way of living means that the program is the foundation that allows me to have a life. The spiritual principles of the program are guides to help me deal with myself, with other people, and with this crazy world I live in.

Some people say no one's born with an instruction manual on how to live life, but I've found the 12-step program to be a really useful guide. Maybe it doesn't cover everything, but it comes pretty close. The program works, so I keep working it.