“Walking The Walk”

I’ve got some tenth-stepping to do here. Followers of this blog have seen me rant about my issues with my Issues Of Diverse Populations class. It’s frustrating for me to sit through lectures on stuff I’ve spent most of my life learning on my own. I don’t like the professor’s teaching style. I really struggle a lot with keeping my mouth shut in the face of ignorant attitudes--because it’s not my place to tell others what to think, and I’m not about to act as if it’s my class to teach.

One of the coolest parts of working the program of Recovery is being able to admit our own mistakes. I won’t say that I’ve come to like this professor’s teaching style any better, or that she’s become less pedantic, but I will say that I have found a growing respect for her. Here, let me explain.

We’ve been covering the different prominent ‘ISMs’ in American society--Racism, Classism, Sexism, etc. Each student in the class was assigned one of these topics and wrote a research paper on it (mine was on Ageism). For the past few weeks, we’ve been having panel discussions. All the students who wrote their paper on Racism, for example, sit in front of the class and basically ‘teach’ it for their particular topic. Today’s panel discussion was on Sexism.

There were a couple of students in the class who clearly did not get the subject. Someone tried to argue about how women are second-class and need to be kept in their place. There was a point about how women shouldn’t be allowed into combat. My internal response to that was ‘why the fuck not?!’ We even had a bible thumper who started quoting scripture about the proper place of women. Okay, maybe I’m overstating things just a little bit, but that’s because it’s easier to me to type the gist of what people said than to list out the long ways they talked around their points.

We’ve had other heated discussions in this class, too. The units on homosexuality were rough. Lots of bible comments there. I suppose this would be the point where I could digress about how bizarre it is to me that just because someone is a member of one particular oppressed group doesn’t mean they won’t make every effort to oppress another.

My point is that I’ve had to listen to a whole LOT of ignorance this semester. I haven’t remained totally silent, I’ve made a few choice comments here and there, mainly because I’ve learned that, in situations like these, you have to really choose your battles carefully. People who believe gays are against God or that women are subordinate to men frequently believe that because it’s a tenant of their faith. Messing with people’s faith is, well, choppy water for sailing in.

As time has gone on, though, I’ve had to revise my opinion about the professor. Through all this ignorance, she’s remained far calmer than I ever would have been able to. She’s let everyone have their say, made sure that everyone’s opinion has been valued. It’s been pretty damn impressive.

I don’t always enjoy being wrong, but sometimes I do. Being able to admit it when I am is a skill I have learned through working the program. It’s important to be able to admit when I am wrong. The tenth step tells us to promptly admit when we’ve been wrong. So today, I waited until everyone was gone after class and let the professor know how impressed I was and that she had really earned my respect. And now I’m putting it down in print here, so y’all can know too.

Understanding differences, realizing the advantages that some people have over others, and the importance that everyone’s identity plays in who they are, is a big deal. I’ve probably said this before, that being ‘colorblind’ is the wrong approach to racism because people’s culture and heritage are important to them. The catch is to be ‘color-affirming’, to recognize the differences and embrace them. There’s nothing ruder than saying to someone that they ‘don’t act gay’ or that they ‘don’t sound black’.

We’re all people. The color of our skin, whether we’re men or women, if we’re gay or straight or something else entirely, these are all important aspects of who we are. Recognizing those differences and not judging each other according to them is the real challenge. Understanding that men and women are different, yet knowing that those differences do not mean women are less capable than men, that is the answer to sexism. Not falling into the trap of thinking all black people or latinos are ‘like that’ is the way out of racism.

Hmm, I seem to have ended up preaching a little here. How ‘bout that. All politics and activism aside, though, the real point is that for all my differences with my professor, she’s managed to earn my respect and admiration. And so I told her so.