“Sharing Our True Selves”

Sometimes at meetings, I’ll share knowing exactly what I want to say. I might have something big going on in my life at the moment that I need to talk about, or some good piece of advice about the topic that I want to pass on to newcomers, just as it was passed on to me when I was new. Sometimes I feel the quiet voice of my higher power telling me to keep my mouth shut and not say anything at all--let others share, listen.

Every once in a while, I’ll open my mouth to speak and not have the faintest idea what I’m going to say. It’s like that when I chair a meeting, too, but at those times it’s deliberate. I’ve found that there’s more authenticity to my words when I don’t plan them. A quick prayer, then let out what it was like, what happened, and what it’s like now.

A lot of times when I’m a speaker, and sometimes when I share, I get done speaking and don’t have a real conscious recollection of what I’ve said. Or I do remember and it feels stupid. It’s ironic, because I’ve found that it is at those times when people are most likely to come up to me afterward and tell me how much they appreciated what I had to say.

I’ve heard other people comment about having the same experience, feeling like what they shared was dumb or just flat-out not remembering what exactly it was that they said. There are those of us who feel that what is going on during these times is that we’re channeling.

No, I’m not talking about the spirit of Bill W. coming back from the great beyond, I mean our higher power is speaking through us. We’re tuned in, in the zone, aligned with the force greater than ourselves, and that energy flows through us and shapes our thoughts and our words. We’re plugged in to the power of Recovery, and it transforms us into beacons of healing.

I don’t always keep the newcomers in mind when I share. After all, it’s my five minutes and sometimes I gotta say what I gotta say. But when I am thinking of the newcomers, I try to pass on advice that was given to me that’s been helpful. It’s like I say to my sponsees: all this stuff that I’m telling you, it’s not bullshit that I’ve just made up on the spot; it’s the advice that’s been handed down to me by others who follow it because it works.

When I’m chairing a meeting, what I pray before I speak is that my words help someone. If something I’ve said is helpful to even just one person, then I’ve done a service. I can’t save anyone else, just like I can’t keep anyone else sober or make them go back out. All I can do is share my experience and hope that somebody else hears something useful.

There are differences in our stories, but many more similarities. The truth is that we are all far more alike than we are different. That’s why we can hear ourselves in others’ stories. We see ourselves in the way they think, the words they say, and the actions they take. There is nothing about us and our lives that is so unique that someone else hasn’t been in a similar situation (if not the exact same situation). Listening to others who have more experience living the program, hearing how they’ve handled the problems of living life on life’s terms, that’s how we learn.

I’ve been a speaker and had people come up to me after the meeting and thank me for telling their story. There’s no feeling quite like that, to share the story of my life--which includes a whole lot of feeling like I’m the only one on Earth like me--and have someone thank me for helping them to not feel alone anymore because there were so many similarities.

We don’t have to shape our stories to benefit anyone else. We don’t have to say the right thing, or try to make sure what we say is relevant to other people. All we have to do is speak the truth about ourselves, who we are and who’ve we been, what we really think and feel, and it will resonate. It’s the sharing of our true selves, and the finding of others who are as we are. That is the amazing journey of Recovery--learning that we aren’t alone.