Friday, September 10, 2010

“Still One Day At A Time”

I started reading Stephen King’s ‘The Stand’ last night. I haven’t read a lot of his books, but what I have read I have liked and everyone’s always told me that ‘The Stand’ is one of the best--if not the best--of his works. In the author’s introduction, though, he said something which I found oddly amusing and very cool. He talked about how people will ask him how he writes and he replies to them, “One word at a time.” He went on to say that it isn’t any more complicated than that and then went on a little speech about the concept, saying how even the Great Wall of China was built “one brick at a time--but I hear you can see that motherfucker from space”. I laughed out loud when I read that, but today am really thinking about it.

Even today, I still live my life one day at a time. It’s a way I’ve found of being in the world that works. Yesterday has come and gone; what’s happened has happened. I can look back at it, feel whatever I might feel, and then use it as a resource to draw on in the future. Sometimes that means trying to not make the same mistake. Sometimes it means repeating something I did well that works. I try not to get lost in the future either. If I’m worrying about the future, then I’m trying to control something I can’t control, and that always leads to unmanageability. Some of the greatest philosophers of history have told us that right now, this moment, this is all we have.

In Recovery, we have lots of sayings that reinforce this idea. We talk about doing the Next Right Thing. We talk about how we will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. Some of us like to tell each other not to ‘future-fuck’ ourselves (a personal favorite). But no matter how you slice it, all these ideas are about being present for our lives. This is, of course, something we could not do while we were active in our addiction.

One day at a time; one moment at a time. This little idea is at the crux of not just how to live life in Recovery from the disease, but also in the pages and the words of some of history’s most famous thinkers. It’s where our power is. We can change the past. We can’t control the future. The only thing we can do is conduct ourselves in the moment. The more present we are for it, the better our chances to make healthy, spiritually-centered decisions.

Some even say that each moment is a whole universe unto itself, and I have to say that I can really get in to that idea. There are an infinite number of details in each moment. There are physical details, like how cold it is, what the shape and colors of the objects around us are. There are sound details, like the soft fan of my computer, or the typing of my fingers on these keys, or the meow of my cat wanting to be petted. There are smells, tastes. And there are the thoughts in my head and the emotions I feel.

Each moment has a vast wealth of STUFF that is happening right now. Being clean and sober means that, not only are we able to fully experience it, but that we are encouraged to do so.

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