Monday, September 13, 2010

"Thoughts In A Moment"

I'm at the college campus right now, about half an hour before my regular Monday night class starts. I'm working towards a drug & alcohol counseling certification and have two classes this semester. I don't actually have any substance-related classes this time, just the Human Services intro and an Ethics class. I like them both, though, because of the over-arching theme that we're all here to help others. What with being unemployed, I find that I really am glad to have these classes. Aside from whatever other good I might get out of them, being here helps me to feel like I'm not stagnating.

The first pass on mixing my album is finished. All twelve tracks sound pretty damn good. I'm going to do my best to just listen for a couple weeks. There might not need to be any changes. I'm really pleased with how it's come out and feel like this is easily some of my best work. I'm really wanting to do what I can to promote it. For a moment, I stop and remind myself how it used to be: my inability to finish a project, let alone something worthwhile. For us musicians, getting loaded is all too often part and parcel of the creative process. It still boggles my mind a little than I make much better music now that I'm sober and in Recovery than I ever did with all the 'inspiration' I received while fucked up.

Someone dear to me is having a hard time dealing with her alcoholic parents right now. I do what I can do; be there for her, listen to her, let her know that I understand. I'm wondering what Al-Anon's main book is. I've got one sponsee right now with an alcoholic parent; it would be good for me to educate myself more on what it's like and ways others have found to deal with it.

It's really nice outside right now, and I find myself feeling privileged and grateful to be able to sit here, think my thoughts, and enjoy the evening. I'm sitting by a waterfall/fountain on campus. The sky is almost completely blue; a light breeze blows. I wonder how many of the other students walking around are noticing that, or taking the time to appreciate it. I think its the Buddhists who believe every moment is a whole universe in itself. There is a lot of joy and peace to be found in being happy for a quiet moment, that's for sure.

It isn't always like this. 'This, too, shall pass' works both ways. There are good times and bad times. And it just might be that my acceptance of that helps me to enjoy moments like this all the more. Continued practice in acceptance and letting go helps to create more moments like this, too.

Class tonight is supposed to include a discussion on the politics of Human Services. I can't wait :)

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